Sunday, May 10, 2009

In Transit


The school year is over, and most everyone is traveling home, if they haven't already gotten there. Not me. I moved back home mid-March, when I decided that sorority life wasn't really for me, and I've been making a commute from here to work at the University Library every day since. My summer is probably going to continue along that path. My summer is definitely going to continue along that path.

This is always a time of year where I'm filled with a lot of hope. For a while, I'll have some time to do things, to make things, without the pressure of a deadline or an assignment. I'll be able to draw again, and paint, and add knitting and embroidery and cooking once more into my weekly lifestyle. The weather will be warm and the plants will grow and I'll have things to talk about. I'm really looking forward to writing blogs again. To having something to write again.

I took a seminar with songwriter Carrie Newcomer a few months ago. The seminar was about discovering who you were and who you wanted to be, and how to get there. It wasn't really about mapping out a path for that - just for figuring things out. Or, at the very least, reading into your own mind far enough to have some idea of what you'd like to figure out. We did all sorts of interesting exercises - talking about our childhoods, writing for ten minutes about what we'd like to communicate through ourselves to the rest of the world, and even something the Quakers do called a "clearance committee" (I hope I got that right, for any of my readers who might be Quakers). In a clearance (it could be 'clearness') committee, you pick the people closest to you - church leaders, friends, relatives, teachers, anyone you feel like you could receive advice from - and present them with a question. The committee then comes up with other questions to ask, based on that question - they are not allowed to direct you, or offer their wisdom, only help lead you to your own conclusions and answers.

Through the writing and the clearance committee, I discovered some things I knew, and some I did not know, about myself. I have always known that what I love is best communicated through the making of objects. It's not that I'm a particularly materialistic person. There is something wonderful about the tactile, about encasing your experience into a single object, and handing it to someone else so that they too might experience the same feelings, or at least some division of them. I have some deep-seeded desire to share the world with people in an enclosed way. I think this is because, at this point, the world seems so large. To close it off, to pull it into a little space that you can hold in your hands, or wrap around you - this appeals to me.

4 comments:

  1. Enjoyed reading your thoughts here- you may mean a "Clearness Committee"

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  2. See, this is why I read your blog. (You work at the library too?! I want to be a librarian!) You have a wonderful way of putting things into words, and it's made more enjoyable for me by the fact that often what you are thinking about is something I am thinking about as well! Your realization about your reason for making things is one I've come to recognize as well, and it's the reason I go stir crazy if I can't make time for making.

    Have a great summer!

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  3. Yup, Clearness Committe is right! I knew it was one of those C-ness/ence words! Thanks :D

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  4. This is a really beautiful and inspiring post!

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